Sadly, This Isn't Unusual

So that last entry was my less-than-auspicious introduction.  Now I want to talk about my day.

It didn't begin well.

I woke up to my screeching, bitchface alarm, which I have to physically get out of bed and walk across my room to turn off.  This is so I won't simply shut it off from the warmth of my bed, immediately go back to sleep, miss all my classes, and fail at school/life/everything.  That's fine in theory, but in reality I usually shuffle across the room groaning like a zombie, turn off the noise, and without ever opening my eyes crawl back in bed and doze off again for another half-hour or so.  Then I wake up for real and still have plenty of time to get ready, so I should really just set my alarm for thirty minutes later, but actually adjusting the alarm seems like too Herculean a task to even contemplate.

The point is that this morning I did the whole shuffle-groan-turn-off-noise-crawl-back-in-bed routine, but I didn't wake up roughly half and hour later like I was supposed to.  I woke up an hour and fifteen minutes later, which meant I had roughly ten minutes to skip my shower, find clothes that didn't smell like a nightclub (impossible, since I had stupidly tossed the jeans I wore to said nightclub in my closet and shut the door, so the smell had permeated every article of clothing I own), brush my teeth, feed my pets, find everything I needed for school (every book was in a different room of the house), and say goodbye to my mom so she didn't yell at me for ignoring her later on.  On my way out the door I figured I'd save myself some time and money by grabbing a soda so I wouldn't have to buy coffee.  I changed my mind about the soda when I almost grabbed the giant spider lurking on the handle of the refrigerator door instead.  Then I felt nauseous.

Obviously all this took more than ten minutes, so by the time I swung my car out of my subdivision, making my own squealing-tires sound effects because it seemed appropriate, I had about thirty minutes to make the forty-five-plus minute drive to campus.

Miraculously, I arrived more or less on time for my first class, Ancient Greek, and was promptly slapped with a pop quiz.  I got some questions wrong.  Then my professor called on me to read my translation of the passage I hadn't even looked at because I had other things going on last night, like homework for all my other classes and watching the Hitler scene from Inglorious Basterds with various funny, made-up subtitles on YouTube.  I had not volunteered to read the translation I didn't do, obviously, but my professor chose me anyway, like he thought I was a Pokemon and he was just going to let me faint in battle because I wasn't trained enough for this.  Now he thinks I'm an idiot.  I know he does, because after staring at me incredulously when I read my "translation," he shook his head and muttered something pejorative-sounding in Greek under his breath.

My other classes were either similarly disappointing or unexciting.  I failed to complete my stakeout.  I paid five dollars for coffee.  And now I have a headache and two papers to write for tomorrow, and it's already 8:30.

Sometimes I think college is overrated.  Especially since I'll be living in a box with or without my wildly useful Classics degree.  Maybe it would be a nicer box if I had the degree.  I don't know.

P.S. I realize I very casually mentioned that I went to a nightclub earlier.  This may have given you the impression that I do stuff like that all the time, no big deal, but that impression would be wrong.  In fact my social life borders on nonexistent, and I spent most of my time at that club hovering as close to the wall as possible, bobbing around lamely and wishing I could actually dance.

Just thought I'd clear that up.

P.P.S. I just got up for a second to close the blinds, since my mom asked me to and I'm a good daughter like that, and oh my god I just stepped on my brother's disgusting sweaty lacrosse kneepad gross oh my god get it off get it off get it off-

There.  Wiped it on his bedspread.  Problem solved.